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| When everyone else gets to nap but me.. |
Becoming a single parent is never going to be easy, first off it's the breakdown of a relationship, and depending which side thats initiated by there might be some hard feelings to deal with there too. At the same time as dealing with that, you need to make sure you set yourself up in a one parent home and have all your 'ducks in order' (that's the saying right?).
I had to get the tenancy agreement for my house changed to solely my name. A process I swear my ex wanted to make as difficult as possible. I feel that when you become a single parent there is a lot to organise, this is completely the most important. Even if you move, just make sure you have some funds for a deposit. I was very lucky that my property managers were SO caring about my situation, and i have always paid my rent half a month in advance.
Still on finances, I4 stupidly allowed all child benefit payments and tax credits to be paid into my ex's bank, so I had to get these changed, the more proactive you are and quicker you do it, the easier it is going to be in the long term.
With the financial stuff aside, I had to organise childcare to fit around pretty much just me and my job, and to not rely on anyone else. I've had to deal with a lot of lies in my life so I know that I can only really rely on myself and my close family. To be honest, I just don't feel like there are that many people I would trust enough to look after my son.
When you become a single parent the most difficult aspect is never having a break. My son spends time with his Dad every other weekend, but stays here every night. There is pretty much zero time off for me. Be prepared to do ALL the hard work, disciplining, dentist and doctors trips, (all the Ds there), the sick nights, the night wakes, the attempting to figure out when to potty train. All the decisions like that are now in my hands. There are so many aspects to everyday life that have sort of changed for me. In all this when you do get time off, make sure to remember who you were before you became a parent, to find love in the things you enjoyed doing before, with such a small amount of spare time you must fill it further enriching your life and doing the things you enjoy.
It's strange how much one person can change, when they are suddenly solely accountable for a small human being. It's not all difficult ,there's lows and hard times sure, but I also get to enjoy seeing my son grow and develop everyday. I get to see his personality and habits come through daily. The afternoon sleepy cuddles are the best, which make me the happiest person ever. When he comes and grabs my hands, and pulls me through to a different room to show me something he's excited about, I literally am so proud of the tiny boy I created and grew inside me, and there is no love that compares to how I feel. I kind of like that I solely get to experience the majority of these things along for the first time, maybe that's a little selfish but it is the way it is now. Taking both parents roles is challenging but sometimes the only option. It's also the most rewarding thing I have ever done in my life.
(EDIT: Just to end, I finished this like 2 weeks after the toothache and I have been to the dentist, i'm fine now. Also I don't encourage people to choose to become single parents, but i'd like to think that with everyone that is a decision that takes a lot of thought.)
All The Love Friends!
xxx
